T e a r s
Saturday, July 30, 2005
-10:07 PM
i dunno wad others are thinging today really to was like so funny.....
i dun like ppl tt dun like me being straight forward i am really myself if u dun like me for being myself than fine... juz got to live wif it... haha
really iss all my sec scool friends... esp cpf haha dunno y haha hmm going coffee bean next week wif her very hard to get a day when she free.... looking forward to tt day....
Thursday, July 28, 2005
-10:33 AM
long time really never blog liao haha ok ba.....
let me start wif yesterday.... yesterday go see doc than omg say i throat infection wtf the first say i fever the other say i throat infection haha dunno ba......
meet my mentee yesterda.....go until his scool he tell me wan change date.... swt but than in the end got him to meet me near his house haha so fun really have so many things in common i think this is really a good start.... juz have to meet him a few more times to estabish the friendship ba
now so sain haiz really dunno wad to do now here slcking haha compution really dunno wad to say lah.....really hate rp way of learning dunno y i think maybe i have not adapt ba but than so long mah?...... haha blog later ba haha
Monday, July 25, 2005
-3:23 PM
i think i sick again think fever again wah go home think slp liao tml than i post ba.....
-9:23 AM
sat and sun was really sick slp slp slp at home haha today can liao lah hor recover liao haiz really like no life like tt keep sleeping..... anyway really recover liao hehe stupid fever..... haha
-9:18 AM
10) wanna get work exprience ( Like i need one like tt)
9) CPF ( not really lah cpf also not alot)
8) get more friends
7) get my stupid harry potter and that stupid half blood book
6)i have 5 hamster and 2 account to feed
5) get income income income
4) get a new place to slack !!!!
3) get away from her
2) get something to do really need it
1) dun wan see my bloody parents face
Friday, July 22, 2005
-8:32 PM
A Full Glass Of Milk
One day, a poor boy who was selling goods from door to door to pay for his hungry stomach, decided he would ask for a meal at the next house.On the way to school, he found he had only one thin dime left and he was very hungry.However, he lost his nerve when a lovely young woman opened the door.
Instead of a meal he asked for a drink of water.The woman thought he looked hungry, so brought him a large glass of milk.
He drank it slowly, and then asked, "How much do I owe you?"
"You don't owe me anything," she replied.
"Mother has taught us,never to accept pay for a kindness."
He said..."Then I thank you from my heart."
Years later that young woman became critically ill.The local doctors were baffled.They finally sent her to the big city, where they called in specialists to study her rare disease.Dr. Howard Kelly was called in for the consultation.When he heard the name of the town she came from, a strange light filled his eyes. Immediately he rose and went down the hall of the hospital to her room.Dressed in his doctor's gown he went in to see her.He recognized her at once.He went back to the consultation room determined to do his best tosave her life. From that day he gave special attention to the case.After a long struggle, the battle was won.
Dr. Kelly requested the business office to pass the final bill to him for approval. He looked at it, then wrote something on the edge and the bill was sent to her room.The woman feared opening it, for she was sure it would take the rest of her life to pay for it all.Finally she looked, and something caught her attention on the side of the bill.
She read these words..."Paid in full with one glass of milk."Signed, Dr.Howard Kelly.
Tears of joy flooded her eyes as her happy heart prayed: Thank You,God, that Your love has spread abroad through human hearts and hands.
A SIMPLE INSPIRATION to fix a broken life, use the tools of the heart.Things that seems nothing great to you, might mean a lot to another.
-9:20 AM
pon scool today dun ask me y coz i also dunno y i juz have this feeling of pon-ing scool......
life sux sometimes....... it really sux sometime.....
this world is really unfair.... dunno y but i juz feel that this world is unfair... is it coz i feel that my bro gets more privilege than me in the house? or is it the fact that dawn got to jc and i cannot go jc..... i dunno..... wad this fair system we live in is it really tht fair? we have laws saying than man and woman are equal but is it really tt equal? i juz dunno.... well life sux tt all i have to say...... got really piss sometimes by ppl around me but than have to live wif it.... being piss is now being my everyday routine juz have to get piss wif something or rather something juz piss me.....
got an A for science really was happy i noe i put in effort in it and really try so "hard".... it is this satisfation of myself that i wan.... really was happy... however i am really thinking at the end of the day am i learning or is the grade more important? is grade juz something there to show me that i have done well or is it something to juz tell me that "u have master this"....... if i learn something and get a D will i be that happy..... i juz dunno sometimes it is better not knowing than knowing..... y ppl look at ur grade at the end of the day rather than what u have learn..... is grade really something that reflect wad u have learn?
oh well...... i think i go out first ba need take something to someone
Thursday, July 21, 2005
-3:54 PM
class got 15 ppl come today only haha really dunno y so little ppl come today hmm dunno ba haha but than today very easy ya was there stoneing and slacking all the way :X
so sain juz got piss of not telling who piss me.... but than i have block the person on my msn list lame rite than the lamer part is i change my nick:-
ThE EnD- ll [L]e0 ll [T]he last thing u wan to do is to piss me ll [P]Lz note tt u are being block ll
lol funny rite ok ya i very lame i noe haha i dunno how to control my own mood this feel days really haiz so sensitie out of a sudden...... dunno ba juz need selfcontrol i think.......
dunno wat to do now lah hor try find something to go haha
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
-4:03 PM
i think today most likely get A again dunno y juz have this feeling that i have done a very good presentation and a very good power point hehe
dun reall noe wad to do now........now mita toking than like no one paying attention haiz she really trying very hard to get us to understand the problem and solution but no one pay attention..... ok ya i also not paying attention........ really feel bad...... think she juz need to make it more interesting and less more theroy ba........
she sending me message again oh well... think i wan go change hp number liao really wanna go jump liao haha jk only but than i dunno really was wrong wif her i think i juz keep to my stand can liao ba
thinking out good woe tatics /gg came out wif some very power tactics tt i think already i also wah haha tell mao but than think need give notice in advance than can work ba.... lol
hope renai can get castle later ba hehe good luck!!!!!
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
-2:10 PM
ahahahahahah dunno y this few days mood so funny very easy angry.... read forum also angry...... dunno ba haha
Monday, July 18, 2005
-8:01 AM
1) take me as a spare
2) play wif me as if i am ur puppet
3) hug when i am piss
4) piss me off when i am already piss
5) make me feel that i love u when i noe i hate u
6) i love u is not equal to u love me
7) think of urself as the most unfairly treated
8) spam sms when i am not replying
9) act cute when i no longer think u are cute
10) NEVER and i mean NEVER use the fact that i am soft hearted to ur advantage
Saturday, July 16, 2005
-10:31 PM
i dunno wad to do tml but than.... will try to be me really dun wan hurt her but i dun wan hurt myself either....
Thursday, July 14, 2005
-11:21 PM
so sain now...
juz now went out wif my mei mei and her friend go shop for her bag really was very fun her friend like me is the lame lame type mei mei walk off haha coz we too lame liao cannot stand us
would like to keep this relationship if my mei like this simple.... juz the kor kor to mei mei feeling coz i am really confuse rite now...
juz now eating that time... she sms me... i did not read did not reply.... my face juz suddenly turn black lor... i dunno is i sad or angry... maybe juz one simple word call confuse... than see try to call and call did not answer mei though i angry wif them... coz she was also laming wif her friend.... no lah not angry wif her...hope she understand....
went home see hp wah power this time she win liao 9 sms 12 miss call.... all sms is "i miss u" "pick up my call plz" "wanna hear ur voice"..... i really stun there.... dunno wad to do.... juz turn off my hp ....dun think too much....
wah wtf really she win liao she juz broke wif her current.... stupid use me as a spare....juz found out from cher..... but.... i dunno i still feel for her.... i really dunno really confuse now... wad is she trying to tell me by doing all this things... this is causeing me more and more harm....
dun wanna feel this pain anymore...go pvp play play ba.... dunno if tml wan go scool not really no mood....haiz see how ba....
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
-11:07 PM
fark lah wad is she trying to do.... juz now sms saying "i love u leo" omg wtf lor really stupid..... first it was her tt cause the break and now she wan to "patch" even before we meet really confuse rite now..... really i dunno wad she wan..... i am not going to reply her message.... think reply also stupid lor....
today really moody fark lot... need something to vent my anger desperately dunnno wan go vent on who..... haiz really no mood to tok lah...... wad she wan i also dunno lor i dunno if i wan go sunday or not lor..... now super onfuse lah.... non mood to think liao
-3:53 PM
ahhh today do basic science which is not tt basic lor do fireflies and atom electron config omg really hard espically the transition metal part really mental haha but than read up ok liao lah..... really need go read one coz if never read sure die one haiz the mita tok until blur liao.....
my group today the best of this week so far tt is haha so lifely one lor all the other group all like no life one our group tok tok tok haha than wanna go home dun wan go home.... lol but than today i do most of the work.... really hard to understand haha need read!!!!! i dunno if wad i did today was right... coz i was like doing the whole thing and my team dunno wad is it about feel so guilty lor like i noe everything than dun wan share like this..... haiz hope next week not the same lah.....
tonite going war haha later than post ba
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
-2:16 PM
juz got a message from her.... ok ya my ex.....she wanna meet me... dunno wanna go or not one side of my heart is say "noooooo dun go!!!!!" the other side saying "you still have feeling for her rite?" i dunno lah now very the confuse.... i know i blew it up tt time..... i mean even if it is not the truth any guy who see it sure hot one lor.... i dunno wad to do now..... i mean after i cool down i start feeling that i really do need her do feel for her.... haha this feeling no one can repalce......
tok to kor haha ask him wad to do... lol i think after the whole chat i will meet up wif her.... this coming sun morning haha coz morning i will not be so work up haha dunno if she can make it not.... i dun wan make another mistake in life liao.... it is either we be friends or nothing more than a friend....
will be back to update again...
Monday, July 11, 2005
-4:56 PM
i dun wan change group!!!! haiz today so sain lor change group... i never complain before about changing of group but this is the first time.... haiz so sad lor had so much fun in my group last week than now wan change... haiz all because of dunno who dun wan say only tt van wad ar? lol
haiz but my group today so good lor make me learn really wor..... we discuse wan do question 4 than ok everyone slack liao dunno is it monday blues or wad... all there slack no work done.... haiz in the end i need do all the work really sad lor i do all the work than we get the same grades....oh well at least i learn something.....
found out why today so sain liao!!!! kor not online .... no one tok to lor so sain really super sain haha need find ppl complain one but than kor not online jie busy.... oh well..... i have to do wad i feel is right i cannot juz complain to them juz for my " own interest" haha this ethic thing is getting into my heard liao....
going through 6p tt time i dunno y i suddenly think about if i had make the right choice when i ask for the break... was i putting own interest above my love for her.... was it a right choice... did i make this choice because i am angry at that very moment? i really dunno..... who is the person that define right and wrong? it is me myself.... if i feel that i am right i will always be right... but than.... am i right?
life geting more and more boring liao haiz i dunno wif out ro how am i going to live haha nothing to do one haha so now everyday go pvp lol really no life one haha learn from kor one :p so hard recruit members for renai lol so sain join quit join quit dunno wad the hell the thinking haha i go slp first lah brb later
Sunday, July 10, 2005
-7:12 PM
update the skin liao the background is my logo haha nice? will be making more of this during my free time..... oh ya one more thing my hamster wanna give birth liao haha so happy the last batch all give to ppl liao all so cute ^^ tml than i update lah... anyone have any suggestion on the skin tell me hor thx thx thx
-1:36 PM
haiz so sain now.... so juz come here update my blog lor... this few days doing nothing much lah mainly making my own "logo" coz i saw mei the logo so nice than i start making liao tot it is useing some special programme but turn out to be using this simple programme call paint lol
make one very nice one in the morning yesterday wad so happy wif my work.... background black than all cool colours haha maybe will change the background of this blog to tt logo....juz find tt i have not been so happy wif myself for sometime liao after the break... haiz haha maybe life is like this no one can make u happy unless u want yourself to be happy....to think tt i was once so stupid to think that i am the most unhappy in this world maybe i juz have not value the things that are all along beside me... yes daphne story was really inspireing haha make ppl think will those in depression plz go to daphne blog got the link there click and read u will really find meaning in life.....
noe wad i finally found someone lamer than me omg i tell shang and ter liao they cannot belive me haha they tot i was extreme case liao haha but got ppl lamer than me i think now i noe how they feel liao haha the feeling of wanna beat but cannot beat lol haha waiting for shang to come back liam will be back at singapore 31 july haha wanna go meet up wif him liao shang stll in australia ....... miss him lah... he say he dye his hair blue liao haiz still have not see the pic.... haha....omg his birthday coming soon.... need thing of something to give him liao die!!!!
starting to change the way i see things liao haha not really sad this feel days dunno y maybe there is more and more ppl entering my life....a colourful life is better than one which is black and white..... was going out wif someone today but than she cannot make it... too bad was to in "love" wif her face haha should not use the word love haha more to an infatuation...... cannot use the word love yet.... i think i should not use it yet.... coz it is not the same feeling i have had wif florence.... more to a..... she is my mei feeling haha will not wan to get into a relationship so soon lah.... the pain have not yet heal....
wanna go eat liao haha bb see when i free than update again...
Saturday, July 09, 2005
-10:46 AM
Yeah yeah...oh...oh....
I've got it all, but I feel so deprived.
I go up, I come down, and I'm emptier inside.
Tell me what is this thing that I feel like I'm missing
and why can't I let it go?
Chorus:
There's gotta be more to life
than chasing down every temporary high
to satisfy me.
Cuz the more that I'm
trippin' up thinking there must be more to life.
Well it's life, but I'm sure.
There's gotta be more...
than wanting more.
I've got the time and I'm wasting it slowly
Here in this moment, I'm halfway out the door.
On to the next thing, I'm searching
for something that's missing
Chorus:
There's gotta be more to life
than chasing down every temporary high
to satisfy me.
Cuz the more that I'm
trippin' up thinking there must be more to life.
Well it's life, but I'm sure.
There's gotta be more...
I'm wanting more.
I'm always waiting on something other than this.
Why am I feelin' like there's something I missed?
Chorus:
There's gotta be more to life
than chasing down every temporary high
to satisfy me.
Cuz the more that I'm
trippin' up thinking there must be more to life.
Well it's life, but I'm sure.
There's gotta be more...
than wanting more.
Chorus:
There's gotta be more to life
than chasing down every temporary high
to satisfy me.
Cuz the more that I'm
trippin' up thinking there must be more to life.
Well it's life, but I'm sure...
(There's gotta be more) More...ooh yeah..
(More) More to
(To) More to(Life)
More to life...(yeah)
(There' s got be more to life)
More toMore to life...
(More) More to(To) More to(Life...yeah)
There's gotta be more...
(There's gotta be more to life)
Oooh...More to life...
Thursday, July 07, 2005
-2:59 PM
here to share another song 1000 words sung in ffx very nice ^^ enjoy
All your words
Seem gentle in my dreams
But they're lies...
And I turn away
You cheater...
You began a journey
Sensing roughness ahead
It's strange...
Why do you fight alone?
You cheater...
"I'll come back."
Your voice passes me
Memories grow...
But I'm tough
Time that's returned
That got away...
I should have yelled "Don't go!"
With tears in my eyes
And nowI can't do a thing...
I cannot say
The 1000 Words
Faraway...
To your back
My words can't fly to you...
The dream goes on
My feelings are for you
The faraway day...
That I want to forget
You cheater...
"I'll write to you."
Your voice goes away
Memories grow...
But I'm tough
Time that's returned
That once left...
Was I to say
I couldn't wait that long?
And nowI can't do a thing...
Can you hear it?
My 1000 Words
Reaching to...
Your faded away back
On wings...
Can you hear it?
My 1000 Words
Your tired back...
They reach towards
I want to hold you...
I could say
The 1000 Words.
La la la la...
They can't seem
To reach you...
Can you hear it?
My 1000 Words.
La la la la...
I want to cuddle up to you
La la la la...
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
-7:53 PM
i dunno y i started to write this... maybe because someone who painted me have juz walk out of my life.....
what are friends for? are they juz people we meet everyday and juz say a hello and a bye? can someone carry on with life without friends? is a friend someone who you can share your problem with? or is it someone who help you share the problem to others?
for me, friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art, like music...it has no survival calue however it is one of those things that give value to surviva........ yes friends do stab us sometimes however have we not consider if the stab was from the front or from the back?
A friend is also someone who makes u take off ur mask in front them, one who believes in you when you have ceased to believe in yourself, someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words. such are those i call friends. although they are the light when all is dark however their gone when all is bright... they will never be the dark in the light..... they are people who take the bus with you when you car breaks down....... they are the wings that grow out from ur back when u are falling
in my life people walk in and walk out i dunno why it is always ur best friend that walk out of ur life... pei fen, eunice, shang,terli,via,cher,liam....... they are juz the few that i can name who change my life for the better, they are people who will only get in my way when i am going down.... i really like to thank this people who enter my life making it more meaning full...i dunno if i have been a good friend to u all.... but i really hope someday more will enter my live to left foot prints and not scars.... poly a really new start in finding a new someone...lei,mao, dap, mun, grace, ber, ter, jace,van and wx i dunno if i have made the right start,i dunno if i have already scar you all not but will try my best to be someone who walks in when the whole world walk out... be my northen star and guide me to wear u wan to guide me to.....
special thx to cpf eunice shang tl via cher and liam for making this life filled wif so much colours.... and bless those that will enter into my life to be my friends.
Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow.
Don't walk behind me, I may not lead.
Just walk beside me and be my friend.
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
-10:57 AM
i find my blog like no life one haha so i will update it with songs haha this song is call "my will" which is from inuyasha the anime haha enjoy(the back ground music is this song ^^)
I wait for my saint and face the day
But I have the hope to reach you someday
I cannot go on take other steps
Yes, my way's not easy to go
Love, even I do believe when I see you, I need to take my time
Spend some days alone being by myself will be all I do
Is, does it exist in everlasting love, in which I could believe?
I have hurt because I was wrong and crude, no wait but I don't want no lose you no!
Thinkin' of you made me cry
See my eyes?
There were foolish dreams
And all I've got
Is my will to be with you again
Thinkin' of you made me cry
So many times
And all the things that made this song was you
And I have my will to be with you someday
I thought I could walk independently and I kept the words I want you to know
You are the one who made me smile when you saw my tearful face.
I, won't waste my time and gonna take the chance to say these things to you
When the day will come I will soon be my voice will be so loud that the sound
Thinkin' of you made me cry
See my eyes?
There were foolish dreams
And all I've got
Is my will to be with you again
Thinkin' of you made me cry
So many times
And all the things that made this song was you
And I have my will to be with you someday
Thinkin' of you made me cry
See my eyes?
There were foolish dreams
And all I've got
Is my will to be with you again
Thinkin' of you made me cry
So many times
And all the things that made this song was you
And I have my will to be with you someday
Thinkin' of you made me crySee my eyes?
There were foolish dreams
And all I've got
Is my will to be with you again
Thinkin' of you made me cry
So many times
And all the things that made this song was you
And I have my will to be with you someday
See my eyes?
There were foolish dreams
And all I've got
Is my will to be with you again
Thinkin' of you made me cry
And all the things that made this song was you
And I have my will to be with you someday
Monday, July 04, 2005
-7:28 PM
today come scool so tired lor coz of yesterday judo leasson but class was fun lah haha was craping wif wee xong or wad ever u spell the name as :x really today was craping wif him the whole day lor... so lame lor laught here laught there the most "active" group in class today haha.... was alittle turn off by someone in class today ... ask tt someone "wad we doing now" than tt someone say "u toking to me ar?" wtf really tur off lor.... haiz but later was ok lah....
it was sad to noe tt someone in class was being bully today ....ok it was not today only... she was really being bully lor can see lor... i dun wan point finger lor but the way she was being bully was really poor thing lor... and she kept silence.... finally told her to voice out her problem to teacher and she did so happy for her at least u get something done and not suffer more...
when home suddenly think about myself.... i dunno wad is wrong wif me today i juz lay in bed and juz think... dunno about wad also... somethings we done wrong and right in life but offen the wrong weight more than the right.... one wrong word and there goes ur friendship with ur best friend... i wan to see things i a different way from now on... i dun wan to use the bad points of someone to blind the good points of them... i wan to see someone as a whole which i hope ppl will also see me as a whole...
i think i have alot of things to learn from daphne....
-10:06 AM
this is a song in inuyasha call deep forest find it very meaningful!!
There must still be a soul that you have left behind hidden somewhere
In the deep deep of the forest, lying among the trees
People who are to turn, but don't look around any farther
The days are beaming to the eternal darkness, of a fallen place
Could we stay the same if we were there?
Could we've seen it if it were later?
Go on with our lives
And lose those fears behind
Wrapped around the lies
We stand there voiceless
Wanna leave our lives
Until we find a way
Searchin' for the light
For eternity
To passin' and chagin' and movin' around but the colors of the sky
Still remain the same as we used to know every single day
We are honest and free now ignoring the risk, the limits that we had
We leave our fears behind take another chance, our souls we leave again
If we catch the rhythm of time, we could probably fly so high
Go on with our lives
And lose those fears behind
Wrapped around the lies
We stand there voiceless
Wanna leave our lives
Until we find a way
Searchin' for the light
For eternity
Go on with our lives
And lose those fears behind
Wrapped around the lies
We stand there voiceless
Wanna leave our lives
Until we find a way
Searchin' for the light
For eternity
Go on with our lives
And lose those fears behind
Wrapped around the lies
We stand there voiceless
Wanna leave our lives
Until we find a way
Searchin' for the light
For eternity
Go on with our lives
For eternity
Searchin' for the light
For eternity
Friday, July 01, 2005
-9:47 PM
haiz today i pon scool lol coz i go judo competion mah lol today go not to see the competion but to see rgs,chij and ny haha all so leng one ^^
today bps did alright lah 3 win only but was good haha eunice hamster and vaness win hmster match was the funnies one she was playing heavy weight one mah than her oponent is balah haha balah weight is 130kg which was more than her by 60 kg lol than balah squash hamster before going to ground wrok lol so funny lor u can see the look on hamster face haha
haiz went home myslef coz eunice dun wan go home wif me T.T haha when home than found out that today my whole group did not come for class haha lucky i did not go for class lor
haiz i think tml i will be cooking!!! ^^ coz tml my mum b.day mah haha dunno wan cook wad yet oh well need juz think.... haha tml still need go by the stuff to cook lor.... better get up early so nite nite than
